This one has been coming up a lot lately, almost like someone is trying to tell me something. Whoever that may be for you: God, Allah, Mother Earth, the Universe, Archangel Michael, the Scientific American, or your Mum – repetition tends to make us take notice. We are pattern matching machines, my wonderful husband tells me. Repetition is the key to habit making and habit breaking, and really any kind of training you may encounter or deliver. I was taught once a PowerPoint format should be structured in three parts: tell them what you’re going to tell them, then tell them, then tell them what you told them.
Today we are going to discuss this pesky repetitive message I’ve been getting about gratitude. It’s been quite annoying to be honest, and if I’m honest for a moment about why it’s so annoying, it is because for me, gratitude is not a reflex. It is not a habit. I’ve practiced it some; even tried writing it down. I hated doing it the first time. And was embarrassed someone might find the notebook and roll their eyes at me.
That’s kind of silly to think about isn’t it? I was embarrassed of a secret notebook of gratitude lists, that some person may someday find and roll their eyes. Did I really think people were like that? Or is that what I am like? Do I roll my eyes at those annoyingly positive people that make lists of things they are thankful for?
Well I shouldn’t. The data actually tells us: these people are statistically happier. Live longer lives. And are less prone to heart disease.
Can you believe that!!?? The practice of taking time to think about the things in your life that are actually quite ok, makes your life actually quite ok. Better than ok. It makes your life statistically more-better-er. That’s science folks. It’s like you stop for a moment, and look around, and realize: wow! This is actually pretty good! And then it just is.
Wild.
So let’s start a new practice today. And it’s a good day to start cause I’m halfway.
That’s right. I am 40. Today. 4-0. Forty. I have to practice saying it so it sinks in. Halfway to death.
But that’s not the way we do this. That’s negative. That’s glass half-empty talking. That’s not gratitude for the amazing 40 years I’ve had on this earth. And they really have been that.
Today I am grateful for:
1) spell-check as I’ve tried to spell grateful, as GREATFUL, multiple times now. I literally just did it again in this line. Spellcheck. So grateful.
2) my job. I complain about this one a lot, and happen to be working on my birthday today, so I’m going to practice turning that one around. Especially after COVID, where many are not so blessed. I am sooooo soooooo lucky to have amazing employment. So amazing in fact, I’ve been with the same company for 16 years. Wild, isn’t that? I have a great job that pays well with loads of benefits, and I just got a promotion. So blessed.
3) candy. Especially on my birthday when I’m allowed to eat anything I want. All day.
4) washing machines. Yesterday the washing machine decided to hold my clothes captive, and would not release them until I did an unable-to-ever-be-repeated combination of turning off, kicking, restarting, unplugging, more kicking and banging, unplugging and restarting. When I finally got my clothes out, I was too afraid to put them back in on spin, so I attempted to wring them dry with my hands and stopped to marvel at how wonderful washing machines really are (when they work). We are so blessed. Many around the world do not have such a luxury. Dirty clothes in, come back in an hour, clean clothes out. Usually. Truly amazing.
5) family (and friends who are basically family). This is an obvious one that always makes the list. But it’s not necessarily obvious why. So let’s be specific: today I’m thankful for family and friends who have taken the time to wish me a Happy Birthday. It’s such a small but magical thing, to have people reach out to you on a day that comes every year, and let you know you’re special.
6) sobriety. If you’ve been to this blog before, you knew it was coming. The sobriety books are telling me to practice gratitude, and I’m going to do it. I’m going to be thankful today for another day sober. Another day I have awoken without a hangover, or the anxiety attack and heart palpitations that follows mentally re-living a night in which you did something you regret – or worse, something you don’t remember. I’m so, so grateful for the support in my life that has made this possible. And that includes you, reading this. Thank you for being here with me on this journey.
So what have we learned today? Besides the three parts of any PowerPoint (hint: we are at stage – tell them what you told them). Gratitude is not all eye-rolling, as much as it may feel that way at first. It’s awkward cause it takes practice. But it’s worth it. Your life will thank you.
See what I did there?